no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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