It's Friday. Sex?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
