no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
