I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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