we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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