3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
