apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
