i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
