watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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