the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
