Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
