I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
