You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
