You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
this boner is exhausting
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
