So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it hurts more in the daytime
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
