we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
