I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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