very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
