it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
