It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
