when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
