I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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