ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize