We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Who died my cat blue again?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
