It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
