Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize