I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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