The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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