He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
