mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
