Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
