ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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