Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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