Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
