im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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