Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize