Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I wish i was in the wii world.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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