That's intense
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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