that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
