He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
