At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize