Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
