can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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