Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
