i wish my penis had a tongue
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The uberlube is also flammable
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
