girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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