Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
