dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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