we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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