i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
