I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
