sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
