Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
