can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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