I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
