i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize