Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
