This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
