Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
