they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
