Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
