I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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