I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
