Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
