Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
