Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
