Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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