She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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