we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
