How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
