I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
