I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
These tits shall not be calmed
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
