moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
