he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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