Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
