Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
