We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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