I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
being pregnant is like rehab
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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