goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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