these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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